Normally a conversation about Will Smith talking about how wet his wife got would lead you to believe that he’s been oversharing about their sex life. But for once, this isn’t about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith getting freaky. Will appeared on Jada’s Facebook Watch show, Red Table Talk (co-hosted by Willow Smith and Jada’s mom Adrienne Banfield-Jones). People says Will did get into his 21-year marriage with Jada, but he specifically talked about a time in which he felt like he failed her as a husband. It’s not known if he broke the bowl right before a key party Will doesn’t say what made Jada so sad in the clip provided to People before the show’s premiere on October 22; just that he was the reason behind it.
This is why we’re losing to China. As a Bostonian, I don’t necessarily get how New Yorkers have heart palpitations if their bagels aren’t from the corner deli, or if their pizza isn’t from some hole-in-the-wall place that likely has failed every health inspection for the last fifty years. I have class, which is why Chili’s is my idea of fine dining. Cough. Anyway, when Apple released a sneak peak of its latest batch of emojis, there was a bagel, which is great because it gives sickos like me another option when trying to signal butt stuff. It looked like a regular, plain bagel you get in the bread aisle at the grocery store, which didn’t phase most of us, but New Yorkers lost it. Apple has since done a do-si-backstep and changed the lewk.
There are many ways to die and/or lose your dick without having innocent people scarred by the sight of:
1) Your naked body.
2) Your naked body getting mauled by sharks.
3) Sharks barfing while trying to get the taste of douche out of their mouths.
But a dude, who may or may not have been boozed up, decided that swimming naked with sharks was a good idea. A Canadian mess, who police have identified as 37-year-old David Weaver of Nelson, British Columbia, went to the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Aquarium in downtown Toronto Friday night and took off all his panties before risking getting Lorena Bobbitt’d by jumping into a tank of sharks. David is wanted by police for that Darwin Award-worthy act of foolery, but he’s also wanted for possibly beating on a man at a Medieval Times on the same night three miles away. Terrorizing tourist traps? For shame! I really hope that as a Canadian, David at least spit out a half-assed apology to the tourists so that he didn’t totally ruin the pristine image of Canada as the epicenter of politeness.
Last night marked the 25th anniversary of Elle Magazine’s Annual Women in Hollywood Celebration which honored newly born (movie) star Lady Gaga. During her acceptance speech, Gaga confirmed what many had suspected for some time, that she is engaged to her boyfriend, publicist Christian Carino. Lady Gaga referred to Christian as “my fiance”, affirming Christian’s decision to get Gaga face tattooed on his arm last year. Not yet confirmed is Lady Gaga’s participation in an upcoming shot-for-shot remake of the classic 1984 Talking Heads concert film Stop Making Sense. We don’t know for sure what her next movie will be, but her David Byrne cosplay suggests it could be in the cards!
If you read that headline and came (I can stop right there, I know) into the post thinking that you were going to get footage of Jon Hamm making out with the Hammaconda, then curse out that oversized Keebler Elf James Corden for setting this gag up. A gag that sadly doesn’t involve Jon Hamm gagging on some Hammaconda head.
Today I learned something about the African country of Uganda: it’s a place where there’s at least one person who doesn’t really know of Kim Kardashian. I honestly thought we’d have to land on Mars before we discovered life that was blissfully unaware of Kim K, but here we are – right on Earth this whole time.
Kanye West and Kim are currently in Uganda, where he’s working on his album Yandhi, and visiting the President (aw, I hope Trump doesn’t get jealous). When Kim met with President Yoweri K Museveni, he proved he’s either clueless or an expert-level troll master by asking her what her job is.