Since interviews are for Z-list nobodies, Taylor Swift didn’t do one for ELLE UK and instead burped up a pretentious essay about music. Never mind the Beyonce-ness of it all, I love that mess of a cover and only because she looks like a glam rock scarecrow in a look for less Big Bird outfit made by Tommy Lenk using coffee filters and paper Easter decorations – Lainey Gossip
My only takeaway from this boring Dark Phoenix trailer is that Mystique and Halsey have the same hair now – Pajiba
Hmmm… I don’t see any nip, and probably because I went temporarily blind from those 90s turd sunglasses that Gigi Hadid is wearing – Drunken Stepfather
The look IS Christina Hendricks looking like an Italian widow at her dead rich husband’s will reading – Popoholic
This Cottonelle commercial is cute and all, but why do I have to wipe my ass especially when meeting my boyfriend’s parents? Is that because they’re gonna greet me with a rim job? Works for me! – Towleroad
Even Miley Cyrus’ tongue is screaming at Bella Thorne’s tongue like, “Put it away already!” – Hollywood Tuna
The Check Into Cash locations around Tori Spelling’s house better prepare themselves for her to come in looking to borrow $200,000 – Celebitchy
Some lucky kid gets to call Meryl Streep “grandma” now – Just Jared
This is where we are in America: Gladys Knight came in third place behind Donny Osmond and T-Pain in a SINGING contest – Jezebel
Pic: Quentin Jones/ELLE UK
Life sure as shit is imitating art for Ariana Grande. Her “thank u, next” single is quite the ode to her exes, and it seems like she’s taking each of them out for an ol’ time’s sake spin. Even though she said earlier this year she wasn’t dating anyone, Ari was spotted out and about with ex-boyfriend Ricky Alvarez, also referenced in the song. Her team maintained they were just friends, but now she’s been seen out with Big Sean. I love when people can still be friends after they break up…but there’s no way she ain’t boning some of these fellas.
Martha Stewart’s manufactured friendship with Snoop Dogg has really been paying dividends. We already know this jailbird isn’t afraid to act on a hot tip from a friend if it’ll cover her cashmere budget for the year. So it should come as no surprise that Martha’s about to fuck with the Canadian cannabis company that distributes Snoop’s “Leafs by Snoop” line of weed for her own brand of CBD products.
If I was an employee at the Silos in Waco, I would call out sick or take cover because Chip and Joanna Gaines are likely hissing shiplap over someone being able to manipulate more cash out of the home improvement teet than they have. I always thought Drew and Jonathan Scott, better known as the Property Brothers, were a snooze. Joke’s on me because while I was sleeping watching their show, Drew and Jonathan brought in $500 million last year.
Some of you bitches were fancier than me back in the day, and I thought I was pretty fancy with my knock-off BOSS shirt from the swap meet and the bottle of Evian I always carried around (which was the same Evian bottle that I refilled with tap water). I say that you all were fancier, because apparently, getting buzzed on vanilla extract isn’t a new thing. It is to me, though, and it’s also new to a high school in Atlanta who had to let parents know that some students have been getting drunk on Trader Joe’s Pure Bourbon Vanilla Extract. Yes, vanilla extract! The hell do those kids think they are? Cake batter? Some muffin mix?!
Nothing spooks the world like the Beyhive on Twitter, but their T.J. Maxx version, Lady Gaga’s Monsters, also really know how to wear a bitch down – just ask Ed Sheeran. Lady Gaga’s ex-fiancée – no, not THAT one…the other one – Taylor Kinney was on Instagram the other night, and when a fan said he got out just in time before Gaga became #Hollyweird, Tay liked the comment. Since Monsters are rational, they let him go along in peace. Oh, never mind. They lost their shit, so Taylor is now out with a mea culpa.