Ariana Grande kicked off her Sweetener tour in Albany, NY this week, and like any pop star world tour, she sells overpriced crap that she knows fans will spend four months of allowance on. But many fans and others aren’t amused by what she’s selling and for how much she’s selling it. They just don’t appreciate a t-shirt that looks like one of the Blue Men fucked it. Continue reading
Ariana Grande‘s rich-bitch anthem which makes you want to reach for the earplugs, mute button or a rocket ship off the planet–7 Rings–has been sitting at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 for the last two months, and her fans even tried to boycott it because it was so popular and they wanted to make a different song of hers hit #1. Well the song may be a hit for Ari, but the fact is: she ain’t the one cashing in. 90% of the money that 7 Rings makes goes straight into the pocket of the estates of Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II.
The thing that surprised me the most from this story is the fact that Ariana Grande is allegedly a vegan. I’m not sure how that’s possible when you’re lugging around 90 pounds of horse mane on the top of your head, but I guess her vegan principles don’t apply to appearance.
Earlier this week, Ari unleashed a signature drink at Starbucks called the Cloud Macchiato, which she then tried to suggest as a vegan option by using soy milk. Of course the real vegans were watching from the sidelines waiting to drag her by the ponytail for telling lies, because the Cloud Macchiato can NEVER be a vegan option since it includes dairy.
I never thought I’d long for the days when shameless pop princess product plugging was limited to Plenty of Fish showing up in every damn music video or Britney Spears spritzing on her own perfume line anytime a camera rolled. Alas, this is 2019, and these chanteuses have to find some way to follow in the self-made (COUGH) footsteps of Kylie Jenner. Probably because she was tired of hearing Michael K call her Ariana Grande Latte, Ariana Grande is now partnering with Starbucks to offer an Ariana Grande La—only kidding. That’d be too easy. She and Starbucks are promoting the new Cloud Macchiato because Ari likes to use the cloud emoji so much. Starbucks, just give me a call when you want to collab on the eggplant macchiato!
Life sure as shit is imitating art for Ariana Grande. Her “thank u, next” single is quite the ode to her exes, and it seems like she’s taking each of them out for an ol’ time’s sake spin. Even though she said earlier this year she wasn’t dating anyone, Ari was spotted out and about with ex-boyfriend Ricky Alvarez, also referenced in the song. Her team maintained they were just friends, but now she’s been seen out with Big Sean. I love when people can still be friends after they break up…but there’s no way she ain’t boning some of these fellas.
If I had matched the Beatles record by getting three top three songs on the Billboard Hot 100, you can bet my ass would spend a night blowing my latest royalty check on booze, poutine, and, uh, entertainment at one of Montreal’s finest male strip clubs. In the case of Ariana Grande, she celebrated with a two-hour chat with society’s perennial butt wart, Piers Morgan. Despite their earlier feminist/nudity beef, these two actually seem to be getting along. Gag.