Us Weekly reports that Duchess Meghan is really serious about this whole “normal mom” thing she’s got planned. It’s been reported for a while that the Duchess of Sussex and Price Harry are going to raise their new son Archie as a commoner. They want to raise their son away from the drama and conflama of being a royal and instead have him live the extremely regular life of your average extremely wealthy person who doesn’t deal with media scrutiny. Well now we’re getting more factoids being spread in the media coming from some people close to the Duchess all about how she’s going to be a normal, strict mom.
Duchess Meghan And Price Harry Want To Keep Baby Archie A Private Citizen And Want To Keep Birth Certificate Private As Well
Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry must not know that the best way to keep people interested in something is to restrict their access to it, because they are trying very hard to keep this new royal baby, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, a secret. They are going to some serious lengths and I feel like it just makes more paparazzi come sniffing around.
First, she wasn’t planning on giving birth at the hospital. Then they weren’t going to do the standard hoe-stroll once that baby was freshly wiped down of gestational fluid and Meghan had some lipgloss on. And then they didn’t even give him a royal title. Instead they have been keeping this baby on the DL, apart from a few staged photos for posterity, I guess. Well expect to see even less of this kid, as it’s being reported that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex plan on keeping Archie a private citizen forever.
One Theory Is That Duchess Meghan And Prince Harry Didn’t Give Baby Archie A Title So He Can Be “Ordinary”
It’s being reported that the reason Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry chose not to give their new baby, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, a title isn’t because he already has a bunch of names and doesn’t need more. It’s because they want him to grow up and be an “ordinary” person. Look at them wanting to be “normal.” Well bitch, “normal” is struggling to pay bills! That’s what you want?!
Duchess Meghan And Prince Hot Ginge Introduce The Still Nameless Baby Earl Of Dumbarton To The World (UPDATE: His Name Is Archie!)
The two day-old luckiest human in the world was carried out to his royal subjects today for the first time in his life, and as his mom Duchess Meghan and his dad Prince Ginger DILF cheesed at the mouth and said all the things that new parents are supposed to say about their newborn baby, he laid there thinking, “Will you arses tell them my name already, so they can stop calling me by my title, which sounds like Mischa Barton’s nickname on The O.C. set!”
Today is already starting out as the Monday-iest of Mondays for me, because I’ve sunk so low that I’m actually throwing looks of jealousy at a newborn, who was born around forty five seconds ago, because that kid gets to start his life making skin-to-freckled-skin contact with Prince Hot Ginge!
Buckingham Palace put out a statement earlier today, letting us know that after being pregnant for approximately 4,586 weeks, Duchess Meghan started to experience the coochie freak-outs, and not because she spotted a wet PHG coming out of the shower this morning, but because she was going into labor. And not long after they put out that statement, their Instagram page announced that their baby, a boy, had arrived.
Yesterday, when the internet filled to the top with nerd cream as all you damn nerds busted thousands of nerd nuts over the latest Game of Thrones episode and the Avengers: PleaseEndAlready, I put on my scuba mask while wading in the ocean of nerd jizz, and prayed that Duchess Meghan would continue to be the REBEL ROYAL by going into labor and streaming the birth of her baby live on Instagram. Maybe that would stop the non-stop chunky stream of GoT and Avengers talk (it wouldn’t have).
But it looks like my newest arch rival (because that baby gets to call Prince Hot Ginge “daddy“) still hasn’t exited Meghan’s womb and entered a life of royal luxury. Prince Hot Ginge was at the London Marathon yesterday, and so his baby wasn’t born yesterday, but that lucky bundle of freckliness is coming any day now. Just don’t ask Prince William when the kid is coming, because he’ll play dumb. What good is he?!